I’m teaching a series on the book The Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman) in my class right now. I’ve mentioned this a couple times in the class, but this book offers one of the most profound, yet simple concepts to learn in marriage. It all boils down to this:
It’s not about me!
In order for a marriage to thrive (possibly even to just survive), we have to stop thinking about ourselves and what WE want, and start thinking about what my wife (husband) wants. If you’ve not read the book, the brief explanation is like this: the book focuses on learning and speaking the “love language” of your spouse – finding out what makes THEM feel loved, and then “speaking” to them in their language (words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service or physical touch).
Obvously, it took Dr. Chapman many years to come up with these specific Five Love Languages, but the concept really is that simple. Now, actually discovering and speaking your spouse’s love language is not quite as simple! It will take some effort. BUT…the results will be well worth it. When we stop focusing on our own desires, our own problems, our own challenges, and begin to point our efforts toward LOVING our spouse in his or her language, great things will happen in our marriage.
